Personal Statement

There is little in the way of a good story regarding what drew me into science, much less the specificity of focus which I now pursue, but the constant addition of layer after layer of interest and preference has laid such a strong and uniform perceptual framework that escape is as impossible as pulling a barbed wire fence out of the tree that grew around it. There have been events, here and there, which shaped which field I eventually landed in, but the basic pursuit has been there since the beginning. It’s not one night of staring at the stars or growing up with damaged loved-ones or surviving an accident or a summer at Space Camp (though I did go to Science Camp one summer, which was an experience in psychological research and comfortable submersion in the subculture of awkward proto-scientists).
Between my parents and scattered relatives, who still occasionally send tickets to exhibits like BodyWorks or shows at the IMAX Theater, there has always been a lot of support from my family. My parents did everything to make sure my brother and I were involved with the big world. We regularly went on “adventure walks” and trips to the science museum. Most summers, I went to a day-camp at a nearby nature preserve or spent time at my grandpa’s cabin up in the Minnesota North. At the camp they took us on nature walks, taught us about ecosystems and animals and some slight natural history, all through hands-on exploration and activities. At my grandpa’s, I got technical answers to childhood questions drawn up from his forty-some years as an engineer, DIY guru, and spare-time inventor. Its one thing to design a tree-house when you’re eight, but it’s another thing entirely to get advice about material economy, structural integrity, and electrical wiring issues while you doodle. Home with my parents was often a little less technical, but they did a good job of actually answering my questions as a kid instead of ignoring them or making up answers. Still, because after a point, there’s only so much curiosity any two people can fill, they encouraged early literacy. As soon as I was able to read, they took me to the library every weekend and I would fill a milk-crate with books. A love of reading came in handy as I ended up spending a lot of time sick at home.
As soon as I could read, I stumbled on my dad’s massive sci-fi collection. Not the proudest beginning maybe, but the stories about the potential of technology and man and all the million futures that came from digging into the hidden workings of the world stirred something in me that never settled back down. It was a good thing he had the books, too, as I spent much of my childhood sick at home and without cable, I spent my time reading and sleeping. More than just providing an opportunity for the subtle propaganda of space-operas and cyberpunk to sink in, being sick instilled a dissatisfaction with the “natural” limits we’re born into. It wasn’t so much disliking nature, but being forced to merely cope instead of fix. It was the feeling of being out of control that breeds either resignation or rebellion and too much was expected from me for resignation.
Being away from school so much made me shy and bookish, which would have been more of a problem had I not also been a head taller than everyone else. When I was at school, I was mostly outside looking in. People-watching and awkwardness combined to force me to try to understand things from an intellectual perspective and the time alone gave me time to think it out. All this combined to encourage an interest in the sciences as I was put in a position where there was a lot of information at hand and a need to figure it out, as well as providing me with a diverse base of knowledge in the wide variety of books I read from which to draw inspiration and new ways of looking at things. As I grew up and became less awkward and shy, this way of looking at things never really faded away and instead became increasingly integral to my relation to the world and my ambitions.
More importantly, as time went by I figured out specifically what I wanted to do with myself and where my strongest aptitudes lay. Biochemistry gave way to Neuroscience after taking a class on Gödel Escher and Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid, where I became increasingly fascinated with the mental and neurological systems. Neuroscience gave way to Psychology after taking my first Cognitive Psychology class in which I discovered a greater aptitude for concepts than memory alone and found that though I was torn between an interest in the concrete functions of the brain (biopsychology/neuroscience) and cognitive explanations, I had more of a knack for cognitive theory than brain chemistry (though I still hope to pursue both to some degree).
These days, it’s a continuous mid-level reinforcement of interest spotted with moments of success in the lab that bring in the big guns of conditioning. There aren’t many moments of overwhelming awe and wonder, but I never stop being impressed. I keep up on the general trends in medical and prosthetics, computers and information theory, and being in closer contact with those that share my interests has given so many more opportunities for sharing excitement over research both past and future that interest is constantly bolstered. Finally having the chance to do the work I’ve been passionate about my entire life has only served to fully set not only my professional ambition, but to make any other life difficult to conceive of.