And why am I always hungry for more information? Why am I a data junky? Because of "You Can't Do That On Television."

Getting slimed is funny, sure, but only when it happens to other people and "I don't know" is a one-way ticket to going as green as a forgotten leg of lamb in the back yard.At first, it appears that what might otherwise be a possibly noble drive, the quest for knowledge, is then based entirely on a lie. Well, that's true, but only if you take it entirely literally. I mean, c'mon, metaphors. Not a complex concept here. Oh, you might not be literally slimed most of the time your information is found to be lacking, but you will get figuratively slimed, slimed by the disrespect, poor estimation, and disappointment of those around you, by fines, loss of opportunity, decreased job prospects, an endless string of failed relationships, indigestion. You will be slimed by justice of life which punishes the weak and ignorant! You will be a failure!

So in the end, thank you TV. You taught me a lesson in one of the few ways a child can understand. Thank you TV.


I also secretly want to start a grease-fire, but I'm not sure which show inspired that. Maybe "David the Gnome".